


What It's Like To Lose

by GiselleLogan



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Heartbreak, Hurt Peter Quill, Hurt Tony Stark, Peter Quill Feels, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Sad Peter Parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 12:36:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15557832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GiselleLogan/pseuds/GiselleLogan
Summary: At a young age Peter Quill knew what it was like to lose someone he loved, losing his mother, then his father, but he never thought he would lose Gamora. He never thought he would start caring for Tony and his friends until it was too late. He was already gone.  (Peter Quills thoughts on losing the war before he turned to ash)





	What It's Like To Lose

-o-o-o-o-

Did they just lose? Surely he had the most perfect plan, he knew that his plan was going to work, sure it wasn't a well thought out plan, it was at a last minute and they only had time to think of this one plan and they failed, it was the end. Quill could hardly breath after he watched as Thanos disappeared. No one was talking, no one could even look at each other in the eye, knowing that they had failed to keep the universe safe from Thanos. 

Quill swallowed hard, his lips parted as he looked around, Tony was clutching onto the wound that was on his stomach, The Wizard was hunched over looking as though he was ready to pass out, Drax was helping Mantis up to her feet, and the kid, damn it, the kid shouldn't even be here. 

“Did we just lose?” Quill stared at Tony with a quaking expression on his face, Tony couldn't even bring himself to talk, Quill could hear his sharp breaths. If they lost, then that meant Gamora was gone, she was really gone. Quill could feel tears threatening to leave his eyes. 

He should have listened to Tony, he should have stopped his anger from bubbling so high that he only felt rage, he wanted Thanos to be wrong, he wanted Mantis to be wrong, he wanted Gamora, he wanted to hold her and tell her he loved her, even kiss her, she didn't deserve to die. He didn't even get to say goodbye to her. 

“Something's happening..” Quill heard Mantis say, she was holding onto her stomach as she stood next to Drax, Quill could feel it too, his eyes focusing on Mantis, he didn't even have time to say her name until she vanished into ash. Quill's eyes widened. 

No, No! This wasn't happening!, Quill could feel panic in his chest, he knew he was going to be next, he just had a feeling, this was his fault, this was all of his fault, if he had listened to Tony, if he had been focused, Thanos wouldn't have gotten the last stone, They would have won, they would have killed Thanos but now Quill couldn't even form any words. 

'I'm sorry Tony.. I'm sorry Gamora, I'm sorry..' Quill thought to himself as he heard Drax's deep heart breaking voice call out his name. He felt his heart break at the sound, he watched as his friends turned into ash. 

“Steady Quill..” Quill didn't have the heart to turn around and look back over at Tony, he knew that Tony was disappointed in him. He knew that the man he only had just met an hour ago, was going to blame him for the following deaths that would come after his. He wanted to apologize, tell him that he had every right to blame Quill for the deaths. 

He couldn't find those words though, he was never one to be sentimental. He turned around to face Tony who was staring at him, hoping that Quill wouldn't also vanish into ash. Quill could feel his breathing getting slower, his body was shutting down, he tilted his head, staring into Tony's eyes, hoping that the other would know that he was sorry for causing so much pain. 

“Oh man...” Quill could only whisper, he watched as part of his body was slowly turning into ash, he turned to look at the kid who was watching with scared and panicked eyes. He wish that the kid didn't have to see this, no kid should watch someone die, he knew from experience. 

'I'm sorry' Quill thought knowing that the others wouldn't be able to hear it, but he hoped that they could as he finally turned to ash. 

-o-o-o-o-o-


End file.
